The Offbeat Bride: Kat, Desktop Publishing Specialist, Musician, and Semi-pro Crafter

Her offbeat partner: Mike, Operations Ninja and Writer

Location & date of wedding: Thorpewood, Thurmont, MD — 01/17/2010

What made our wedding offbeat: Our wedding was very much about expressing our geeky, crazy love. When we decided on a winter wedding, we stumbled upon the idea of the “Midwinter Night’s Dream” theme, and tried very hard to make it whimsical, light-hearted, and above all fun, without being too over-the-top with the faerie or renfest theme. I’m also a crafter who loves DIYing everything, so pretty much everything we COULD make ourselves, we did.

The men were in Utilikilts, the women were in vaguely medieval gowns made by me (with chemises they made themselves), and I wore a blue dress and fabulous blue boots.

Since neither of us is particularly religious, and since we paid for everything ourselves, we were able to do pretty much whatever we wanted. We kept the bits of tradition we liked, and ditched the bits we didn’t. I had a Matron of Awesome, a Bridesmaid, and a Bridesdude; Mike had a Best Dude and two Groomsguys. Mike walked down the aisle with our ring bearer to the theme from Batman, and I danced in to “Lovecats,” by the Cure.

Dancing down the aisle.

I knew from the start that I wouldn’t be wearing a white dress, and that I’d be making whatever I wore myself. It incorporated the skirt of my grandmother’s wedding dress, an underskirt of blue taffeta, an overskirt of blue chiffon, and a blue taffeta corset. I also totally stole the idea of a ribbon veil from OBB, and whipped up a headpiece using ribbon leftover from the bouquets.

Tell us about your ceremony: Our awesome officiant, an old friend of mine, managed to work in references to Shakespeare, World of Warcraft, and Joss Whedon’s “Firefly,” without any of it sounding too hokey.

In keeping with the “Midwinter Night’s Dream” theme, the vows, ring exchange, and unity cocktail wording was all written by me and Mike, in iambic pentameter (with a bit of tetrameter thrown in, as in some of Puck’s speeches in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”). An example:

And so I place my heart within your hands
to have and hold, whatever joys and strife
may come. My love, before you now I stand
and pledge my troth, henceforth to be your wife.
And so before these gentles here
to witness now these vows sincere,
Give me your hand if we be friends,
and with this ring I do thee wed.

Did I mention a unity cocktail? Why yes I did! We wanted to do something other than the typical candle or sand ceremony –- while awesome, those aren’t very “us.” Mike is a beer connoisseur, and I’m a fan of hard cider, so when we stumbled upon a combination at the Maryland renfest last year, we knew we had to use it as our unity cocktail: Sam Adams Cherry Wheat beer and Woodchuck cider. Just trust me –- I know it sounds weird, but it’s delicious. I found a pair of heavy wine glasses and a pretty pitcher at an antique store, and we mixed and sipped as part of the ceremony.

This cake confuses and intrigues me.

What was your biggest challenge?: Since we were paying for everything ourselves, keeping costs low was a definite priority, but we also knew that there were things we didn’t want to scrimp on. We went with a buffet rather than served meal, but splurged on some of the pieces of it (and everyone commented on how wonderful the food was, so it was worth it). We also held the wedding on a Sunday because it’s cheaper than Saturday, but the venue itself was still fairly expensive. It’s a non-profit, though, so we felt good about spending the money there. We definitely paired down a LOT from our initial idea list, once we started adding up the costs!

Another issue I had was delegating some of the DIY work, and knowing when to say “screw it, we’re buying that!” I made the guys’ shirts, and had initially intended to make vests as well, but quickly realized that there was no way I would have the time. We ended up just telling them to go find a vest in any dark color, which worked out just fine. I delegated the card box and table place holders to the Best Dude, who’s very a very handy carpenter, and the girls made their own chemises to wear under the dresses. I’m very Type-A when it comes to doing everything myself, so it was very challenging to me to let some parts of it go and trust that those I’d entrusted with the tasks would do them perfectly well.

Have you been married before and if so, what did you do differently?: This was the second time around for both of us. We did a lot more DIYing this time, and were much more cognizant of what WE really wanted, not necessarily what was expected of us. I also didn’t get to dance at all at my first wedding (through a long series of equipment SNAFUs), so that was something I absolutely wanted to make sure we were able to do. And we did! We actually managed to get quite a bit of dancing in, which was one of the best parts of the day.

What were the most meaningful moments of your wedding?: As everyone says, there were so many! When I reached the front of the room and took Mike’s hands, and we looked into each others’ eyes, I thought I would melt right then and there. When our officiant almost lost it and started sniffling towards the end of the ceremony, I thought we were doomed. But I think most of all, it was that first kiss, and the one right after, and the one after that, until someone poked us and pointed out that we were done and could walk back down the aisle together now.

Another moment that had me nearly in tears was when my father, with whom I’ve never been all that close, told me that he had never seen me look happier. And it’s true!

My advice for other offbeat brides: The most important words of wisdom I got were from my Matron of Awesome, and were first uttered in regards to HER wedding, several months earlier: “As long as you’re married at the end of the day, the details don’t really matter. It won’t be perfect, but it will be your day, and at the end of it, you’ll be married to the love of your life and that’s really what’s important. Everything else is just gravy.” I found that advice invaluable whenever I started to freak out about some detail or other.

The other bit of advice I have is to remember that DIY does not always equal cheaper. If you add up the cost of all the materials in my bouquets and boutonnieres, for example, it would probably be pretty close to the cost of real flowers. Totally worth it, in my opinion, but definitely something to keep in mind.

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?:

• Cake: Trevor Burroughs, The Cake Guy
• Catering: Canapes
• Photography: Red Turtle Photography

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!:

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This business has paid a fee to be listed on offbeatbride.com because they feel their wedding products and services are in-line with offbeat brides’ philosophies and needs … and I agree. Here’s more info about how advertising works on offbeatbride.com.

Robert and Kelly Gash are an adorable husband and wife team that make up Gash Photography in Seattle, covering all of Seattle, Washington, and beyond. These two crazy kids get their kicks out of working with couples who enjoy “breaking the rules” much in the same way they've done with their business.

Their idea was simple… build a relationship by committing their time to each client. And don't ask people to make sacrifices just to fit a budget. They threw traditional “limited” pricing out the window to give everyone the same great photography coverage. In a sentence: they cater to offbeat brides by being offbeat photographers.

Gash Photography has shot several offbeat weddings, but said that the wedding of Seattle couple Genna and Adam stood out as the one to share with our beloved Offbeat readers. Keep reading to see more porn from Gash Photography's favorite offbeat wedding and to take advantage of their big FAT offbeat discount…

Genna and Adam did a great job of incorporating traditional elements into a very non-traditional service, but the one thing that stood out is how they integrated their love of music into everything they did: engagement photos at a record store underneath Pike Place Market, a friend who performed the music live on guitar at the ceremony, to one of the most energetic dance parties at a reception that Gash Photography had ever encountered.

Genna and Adam's friends even went to the trouble of creating a custom record sleeve and selecting one of their favorite records as a group gift to them. Combined with a great supporting staff, and some pretty adventurous photo sessions at the market and in the park, it made for a beautifully individual Northwest wedding that was completely offbeat, but the beat was never off.

And that's also a really great way to describe Gash Photography: “offbeat, but the beat is never off.” And what's even better than they're fabulous photos? Their even more fabulous discount…

Gash Photography's “Offbeat Wedding Stimulus”:
A complementary upgraded package for everybody, even our entry package! (For weddings in 2010-11, that's a $500 discount!).
Every package includes:

• 2 Photographers
• Full day coverage (no hour limits)
• Engagement session (on location)
• Full resolution DVD
• No minimum print requirements: you decide how much to order

I met Kelly at the Offbeat Bride book reading last weekend, I can totally vouch for the fact that she's not only adorable, but she'd be a hoot to hang with at your wedding. So, if you're in the Northwest area, get in contact with Gash Photography and know that all your wedding is in good hands.

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1. Eco-powered globetrotting wedding photos from Josh Finsel and Amber Breiner Photography This business has paid a fee to be listed...
2. Non-traditional wedding photography from KNG Sommers Photography This business has paid a fee to be listed...
3. Wedding photography and "couture books" from Cohn Frankel Photography This business has paid a fee to be listed...

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The offbeat bride: Jennifer, Account Manager- Printing Company

Her offbeat partner: Hugo, Assistant Studio Manager- Ad Agency

Location & date of wedding: Church: OLPH, Lindenhurst, NY. Hall: Larkfield Manor, E. Northport, NY — August 14, 2009

What made our wedding offbeat: The first thing we decided on is that the entire menu would be vegetarian. This scared some people, including my mother, but at the end of the day everyone loved it.

I always wanted a Scottish wedding with the men wearing kilts and bagpipers and since I was able to rustle myself up a nice Irish boy I was able to pull the whole thing off quite easily! As you can see from some of the photos… they were indeed wearing undies.

We made a donation in our guests honor to Farm Sanctuary as our favors.

Our biggest challenge: We insisted on a 100% vegetarian menu and there were a few people who had some strong opinions against it. We stuck to our guns and at the end of the day EVERYONE I talked to said their meals were delicious.

My favorite moment: Venetian Hour — an extra hour of dessert? Yes, please!

My offbeat advice: If theres something that you really want and people are giving you a hard time about it you need to remember it's YOUR day. I guarantee that the ones originally complaining are going to be your biggest fans in the end.

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?:

• Farm Sanctuary
• Matthew Miller Photography
• Kilt Rental- Piper's Cove

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn:

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OBT member Derek Kyle Noel made, yes MADE, these incredible Ouija board save-the-dates for his upcoming Halloween wedding.

For more photos and information about how he made these puppies, head over to his post about them on So You're EnGAYged where Derek also blogs about his upcoming “Gay Boy Halloween Wedding.”

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Margot Allison Lowenstein, a daughter of Rochelle Lowenstein and Douglas Lowenstein of Chevy Chase, Md., was married Saturday evening to Jonathan David Simmons, the son of Jeffrey Simmons of Newtown, Pa., and the late Judith Simmons. Rabbi Elliot M. Strom officiated at Halcyon House, a historic house in Washington.

Rochelle Moskowitz Lowenstein

Mrs. Simmons, 27, is the national marketing manager for New Leaders for New Schools, a national nonprofit organization that recruits, trains and supports urban public school principals. She graduated from the University of Pennsylvania cum laude and received a master’s degree in early childhood education at Lesley University in Cambridge, Mass.
Mr. Simmons, also 27, is an associate in the New York office of Golub Capital, an investment firm; he evaluates companies in which the firm might invest. He graduated magna cum laude from Colgate University.

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Jennifer Lynn Parnes and Anthony Christopher Jones were married in Brooklyn Saturday evening. Rabbi Allen Block officiated at Stage Six at Steiner Studios in the Brooklyn Navy Yard.

The bride, 31, will take her husband’s name. She works in Manhattan for Fidelity Investments of Boston. She is a director managing a team that services assets for clients with holdings in hedge funds, real estate investment trusts and bonds. She graduated from Boston University and received a law degree from Seton Hall.
She is a daughter of Fran Parnes of Brooklyn and the late Howard Parnes. Her mother is a pre-kindergarten teacher at Public School 179 in Brooklyn. The bride’s father was an analyst for National Financial Services in Manhattan.
The bridegroom, 42, is a founder and the chief financial officer of Ego7, a Manhattan company that provides software to advertising agencies and other clients to adapt online ads for different customers and markets. The company also produces advertisements. He graduated from Pace University, from which he also received an M.B.A.
He is a son of Anita Jones and Christopher Jones of Dongon Hills, Staten Island. The bridegroom’s mother retired as a freelance interior decorator. His father, an actor, is a member of the Irish Repertory Theater in New York. In 1966, he appeared in the original Broadway production of “Philadelphia, Here I Come!” and later toured with the show and was in the London cast.
In 2000, Ms. Parnes and Mr. Jones met at the Fidelity offices on Liberty Street in Lower Manhattan. Mr. Jones, who then also worked for Fidelity, said that they dated for a while, then broke up.
“It was kind of a weird thing,” he said. “We kind of separated a bit, kind of got back together and I happened to bring roses that morning and put them on her chair.”
It was Sept. 11, 2001.
Ms. Parnes said she was late and heading up an escalator to her office when a plane struck the north tower of the World Trade Center across West Street.
When she reached her office on the 25th floor, she ran into Mr. Jones, who told her that the building was being evacuated. They went down a stairwell, and on the long walk down, a female colleague told her that he had left the flowers.
They reached the street just as the second plane crashed into the south tower right above them.
Ms. Parnes and Mr. Jones, who both lived in Brooklyn, started heading there on foot with the female colleague.
The first tower fell as they were crossing the Brooklyn Bridge, and when they finally reached his apartment in Brooklyn Heights, Mr. Jones, who had left his keys at work, had to break in. He then drove Ms. Parnes to her family’s home on Ocean Parkway in Brooklyn, where she was living.
Because no one could go back to the Liberty Street offices for some time, Ms. Parnes wound up in Merrimack, N.H., for three months while Mr. Jones was posted to Boston.
“We did at lot of talking on the phone,” she said. “But that experience brought us much closer together.”
About a month after the terrorist attack, her boss offered to put on a hazardous materials suit and retrieve two items from each person’s desk.
“I asked him if he could take the roses off my chair,” she said. “They were still there, and I still have them today.” JOHN HARNEY

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Candice L. Smith and Scott E. Dias were married Saturday at All Saints Episcopal Church in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. The Rev. Sherod Mallow, an Episcopal priest, performed the ceremony.

Mrs. Dias, 30, is an account director at Avrett Free Ginsberg, an advertising agency in New York. She graduated from Johns Hopkins.
She is the daughter of Margaret I. Smith of Naples, Fla., and Stephen P. Smith Sr. of Fort Lauderdale. Her father, who is retired, owned two franchises of Taylor Rentals, an equipment rental company, in Syracuse and Albany.
Mr. Dias, 29, is a director in the debt capital markets division of Deutsche Bank in New York. He helps public companies and private investors manage foreign exchange. He graduated from Princeton.
He is the son of Christine Dias and Dr. Luciano Dias of Chicago. The bridegroom’s father is a pediatric orthopedic surgeon at the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago and is a professor of orthopedic surgery at Northwestern University. Dr. Dias also had a private practice in Chicago, where the bridegroom’s mother, a registered nurse, was nurse and office manager until it closed in 2007.

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Sarah Siegel, a daughter of Elizabeth Siegel and Edward Siegel, both of Shaker Heights, Ohio, is to be married Sunday to Adam Lubow, the son of Lynn and Greg Lubow of Tannersville, N.Y. Cantor Diego A. Mendelbaum is to officiate at the Villa Monta

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Vanessa Rachel Menkes and Alexander Stephen Orlofsky were married Saturday evening in Miami Beach. Rabbi Robert A. Davis officiated at the Miami Beach Resort and Spa.
The bride, 33, is taking her husband’s name. She is the vice president for communications at the Opium Group, an owner and operator of nightclubs, including Mansion in Miami Beach and Priv

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Karen Rachel Salomon and Buckley Thomas Ratchford were married Monday in New York. Tulis McCall, a minister of the Universal Brotherhood Movement, officiated at the couple’s apartment.

Brian Dorsey/Brian Dorsey Studios

The bride, 31, is keeping her name. She is a line cook at Mas, a New York restaurant. She graduated from Columbia and has a certificate from the French Culinary Institute in Manhattan.
She is a daughter of Daisy M. Salomon and Joseph N. Salomon of New York. The bride’s father is a partner in the New York law firm Schwartz & Salomon, where her mother is the office manager.
The bridegroom, 38, is a managing director at Goldman Sachs in New York; he invests in distressed businesses and companies within the global credit division. He graduated summa cum laude from Dartmouth and received a master’s in international political economy from the London School of Economics and a law degree from Harvard.
He is a son of Mary Alice Ryan of Vero Beach, Fla., and Dr. William B. Ratchford of Jacksonville, Fla., and a stepson of John J. Ryan.
The bridegroom’s mother retired as an independent designer of commercial interiors in Holmdel, N.J. The bridegroom’s stepfather retired as a lawyer for Prudential. He worked in Newark.

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